fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

Of course. Of *fucking* course.

God my heads killing me.

Gonna hand over the blog to H for now...I need to go lie down before I start to contemplate something I don't want to contemplate.

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Hello, H here. I am...a friend of Jedi's. I was a coworker of sorts to Stella.

We both got hungry, so we went out to get something to eat. The walk there was uneventful, just talking about things, but on the way back Jedi's migraines started to get steadily worse until we rounded a corner and He That Is was just...right in front of us. A few more steps and we would have walked right into him.

We both turned around to run, but he was there, too. We turned back to the direction we were walking in and still there. We managed to get away by crossing the road, but then we rounded another bend and there he was. Just standing there with open arms.

I'll say this now- I haven't seen It up close in well over a year. I'd forgotten the wave of panic and nausea and how wrong and alien he feels, like he does not belong here. I froze up like a deer in the headlights, just staring at It, totally unable to move, until I caught sight of something in my peripheral vision.

Stella was leaning on a garden fence across the road, looking at He That Is and smiling slightly. For those of you unfamiliar with me, to prevent you from having to read three other blogs to understand why Stella was there despite being dead, I have occasional hallucinations of Stella when I am panicking or under extreme amounts of stress. She was just standing there, arms folded, a serene little smile on her face.

He That Is's head snapped around so he was looking at her, and suddenly I could move again. We ran out of there as fast as we could.
On the way back to Jedi's, he asked me, "Who was that girl?". I asked him to describe her to me, he gave me an exact description of Stella.

I told him about the hallucinations, and that the girl had been Stella- although as I understand it Jedi and Stella were an item, they both had no idea what the other looked like. Which brings up a few questions, for me: 1) Prior to then I had only seen that hallucination once since the end of May. I thought she'd gone.
2) Jedi saw the hallucination as well. Which makes me wonder. Stella is definitely dead- I identified the body, I went to her funeral. But the odds that we both saw exactly the same hallucination are incredibly slim, which makes me wonder.

I don't believe in ghosts (which seems like rather arbitrary skepticism considering I have spent the past twenty years with the constant shadow of the Slender Man hanging over my head) but it seems right now that this has to be more than coincidence.

I really need a coffee.